The Other Side of Valentine's Day

Follow @SheilaAgnew

I received a distress call the other evening from a dear friend. The gentlemen she had been dating for a couple of months and become quite fond of, text messaged her that he wanted to end the relationship. He said that she was ninety percent of what he was looking for, but the ten percent was a deal breaker, which was travel distance between their homes. His maximum allowance was twenty-five miles and their distance was thirty-six miles.

Honestly, I kept my comments short and brief, suggesting she should simply move on. I saw no point in wasting time and energy on someone who does not feel you worthy of ten extra miles past his cut-off distance and texting a breakup.  While I certainly understand her devastation in believing their relationship could be more long term, at some point, we have to move beyond drama, particularly when there is not a lot of time involved. I truly believed she did a lot of the right things to grow the relationship, just with the wrong person.

In actuality, while I was sorry about the situation, the point of this story is not my friend’s breakup. It was something she said during the course of the conversation that struck a chord with me. She expressed that she was now going to spend another Valentine’s Day alone. While I certainly understand her sentiments particularly in a situation where the break up is fresh, I encouraged her not to get hung up on one day. If you are not in a relationship, there is really no need to acknowledge or celebrate a day that has no benefit to your current situation. Also, recognizing more serious situations such as loss of a loved one, divorce and separations due to military service can cause intense feelings of depression, there are other ways that may be helpful to cope with the loneliness this day may bring about. Most important is to look for ways to spend the day that is not focused on what someone does for you, but what you do for yourself. Some suggestions include.

• Make someone else happy. Consider ways you can bring a smile to others including the elderly, children, domestic violence victims, sick and shut-in. Volunteering will also provide you with a sense of gratitude for what you do have in your life.
• Host a family and friends get together. You will be surprised at the people who would rather not go out to restaurants for dinner.  The theme does not have to be Valentine’s Day and ask everyone to bring a dish or beverage.
• Make plans to start or finish a project you have wanted to do for a long time.
• Do something you may not ordinarily do such as book a glamour photo session, get a complete make-over or take a fun art class to stimulate your creativity.
• Don’t look at old pictures, love movies and songs that bring memories to make you feel sad. Watch funny movies or read inspirational books.

It’s important to remember that you have to live beyond one day and should always focus on things and people that add value to your life. Above all, my most endearing suggestion is to spend time with God. With God’s presence we are never alone. Happy You Day!

Turn Your Vision into Reality!

Follow @SheilaAgnew

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

A Lesson on Focus from President Barack Obama

     “One of the most difficult challenges in pursuing or living your calling is to remain focused.  At times, life itself may be filled with diversions that distract your focus from your goals. You may encounter many obstacles in starting and finishing even a simple household or work project.  Imagine the difficulty in remaining focused with a project as large as your calling!  It is difficult, but certainly not impossible.  In fact, remaining focused to achieve your life purpose is imperative.”

     While watching President Barack Obama delivery the State of the Union address on Tuesday evening, I was reminded that chapter four of my book, Dear ____, Are You Missing Your Calling? was inspired by his unique ability to remain focused in the midst of challenge and adversity. During his two campaigns, I was most intrigued by President Obama’s self-control and capacity to stay centered on the issues, which eventually won him the presidency twice. “We can only imagine the complexity of how God placed the vision in his mind that he could run for President of the United States of America and even succeed against unimaginable odds.”

     While most of us will not likely run for President of the United States, we are all in a race to pursue our callings and purposes. Each of our gifts, skills and talents are unique. In order to reach our God-given potential, we must remain focused.  Focus is not a gift or calling, it is a discipline designed to guide us on a clear path by setting priorities to vigorously pursue and reach your goals.

     We have come to know a few things about President Obama in the eight years he has been President, but we know less of the intimate twenty-two-year journey that he walked while pursing the directive of his vision. It took patience, endurance and confidence to believe he could achieve a position larger than himself and create a legacy.

     It is possible for all of us to reach success with our individual callings. There is a roadmap for each one of our journeys. In order remain focused, we must place priority over the things that are most important and have the most value to our purpose. Essentially, focus requires consistency and diligence in cultivating your vision. Focus is not an easy task. I often remind myself to keep a focused attitude by following some of the suggestions I shared in the book.

• Stay spiritually inspired.
• Reduce or eliminate things and people that distract you.
• Boost your energy with healthy foods and exercise to remain mentally alert.
• Make a commitment to limit distractions (phone, social media..) to 1-2 hours a day.
• Pray and meditate day and night.

     "If you continue to find yourself having difficulty remaining focused, ask God to reveal your path, look for the signs and pursue them passionately. If your are committed to doing your part to remain focused and willing to obey the voice of God, he will fulfill your requests. Divine order contributes to right outcome."

Dear ____, Are You Missing Your Calling? is on Amazon Kindle and Paperback. Check out a sample chapter free at CLICK HERE

      

    

When I Grow Up | Articles | Walden University

When I Grow Up | Articles | Walden University

Follow @SheilaAgnew

Vision- Don't Let Your Vision Die

Follow @SheilaAgnew

What About Camille

Follow @SheilaAgnew

While many have expressed both concerns and disgust about Bill Cosby in the wake of the recent allegations of his drugging and sexually abusing young women years ago, my heart goes out to Camille Cosby, his wife of 50 years.

I can only imagine what her life may be like during these very dark days. At a time when her season should be blooming with flowers, she has to endure the harsh realities of being the wife of a celebrity at its worse.  Not only is she publicly dealing with the effects of a spouse that has been unfaithful, she has to somehow keep her family together and wear a smile even when her heart is aching.

Camille Cosby has issued a statement in support of her husband speaking to his love, kindness, gentleness and that he is a good husband. She further stated, “He is the man you thought you knew.” I am not one to challenge a wife’s relationship with her husband and I take her statement to be based on her relationship and not public opinion.

I have admired Camille from a distance for so many years. She always appears so graceful and never allowed the Hollywood lifestyle to dictate who she was, even in her youthful years when Bill was in his prime. I am sure it must have been difficult at times. She chose to discontinue coloring her hair and showcased the premature grey many years ago when it was not popular for a young Hollywood couple. Instead of being caught up in the glamour, she devoted her efforts to raising her family and giving millions to education and philanthropy as a way of sharing her blessings. As a result, the Cosby gifts have benefited many.

Mrs. Cosby’s humanitarian acts along should give her peace, but how can she be at peace when allegations against her husband threatens to destroy a lifetime of work. It’s despairing to think her good deeds may be tarnished by actions not of her own doing.

I am disturbed about the numerous allegations against Bill Cosby. I absolutely believe there was infidelity in their marriage. Something Camille appears to have forgiven years ago. My prayers are the truth is revealed by the accused and the accusers, because the truth will set them all free.

I can’t suggest to Mrs. Cosby how to feel or what to say about her husband. After all, she has been with him for 50 years and the accusers allegedly only a brief time. I can agree with the statement Bill Cosby said to a reporter about Camille, “Love and the strength of womanhood.  Let me say it again, love and the strength of womanhood. And, you could reverse it, the strength of womanhood and love.”

Do You Need a Nudge?

Follow @SheilaAgnew

 

We all need a nudge to get us moving at some point. Whether a goal, vision, project or a simple everyday task, sometimes we sit back as if we were in a daze and allow time to pass without action. I admit there are days it’s a lot easier to do absolutely nothing rather than execute the tasks at hand. After all, it feels so much better to think about our assignments then actually put in the work involved to get them done.

When I am in that mode of thinking which encourages a lack of action, I can rely on God for a power dose of inspiration by listening to his inner voice. The insight obtained from listening and following those most valued instructions guide me back on track. With your mind focused on God’s guidance, you can make the absolute best decision about moving forward and then act on it. The messages can come through various sources providing inspiration. It may be a preached word, motivational tidbit, or a kind gesture from a total stranger. The realization that acting on the call to finish a task becomes a priority when you understand completion is a benefit to your success.

If this brief post provides you with the nudge you may need to proceed with your tasks, consider it inspired by God through my morning meditation.